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Disclaimer: I don't own transformers or Kickback and Saberwind really isn't a proper character at the moment so thats that now enjoy....

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Kickback sat alone on a tree branch his back to the trees trunk, he watched silently; thoughts drifting through his head. The stars shone in the night sky as the insecticon just sat there. Why? Was all he could ask as he watched the moonlight light up the sloping hillside with a ghostly radiance the cold wind brushed past his form almost lovingly; almost its icy bite kept him alert.

Why did he make me feel like I was wanted? I thought he was my friend? Kickback’s thoughts played turmoil in his mind. Why do I remember it? Why nothing else? Why him? The insecticon’s day had started off as normal, pretty much with the objective of devouring everything; it was normal, but now; he wasn’t hungry. Which for one of his kind was unusual; he couldn’t help it. He had felt rather than seen the looks his fellows had sent him as he had left; he had needed to be alone so badly, to sort out all these feelings that had returned to haunt him. Why now? Why do I remember him now? Was it triggered? He continued to ask these questions knowing full well it was hopeless. He remembered and that was it; he couldn’t full well erase that memory. A sigh escaped from his mouth and he watched over the hills surrounding the insecticons’ temporary headquarters, wildlife scattered around played its dance of life. He had been like that once, living without a care in the world; now he was older, now he had learnt; but oh what he wouldn’t do, to be that carefree again!

Memories of an old friend danced through his head like a movie reel. It was strange he couldn’t remember anything before or after the memories that had resurfaced all he had been, those memories; memories that had caused him so much pain. “Friend truly is another word for fool” he muttered quietly to whatever might hear him “I should know I was one once; but never again” he trailed off into silence.

*START FLASHBACK*

A young Kickback (not the decepticon; a youngster untainted by the world) stands, looking around waiting for someone; on the edge of a street various Cybertronians pass by, none take too much notice of him. He starts to get a little impatient and starts to mutter quietly not loud enough to be heard. “Come on; where is he?” his impatience is relieved as he sees a familiar figure come towards him. “There you are Saberwind” he calls out to his friend.

“Yeah; sorry I’m late” the aforementioned transformer replies “what’s up?” he asks in an amused tone. “Nothing but the sky” Kickback replies just as he always had. The other transformer merely laughs. “You never change Kickback” he replies, then motions to him. “come on then, let’s go”.

They both walk off; the other transformer starts to go in a different direction than normal. “Saberwind, hold on where you going?” Kickback calls after him. “Come on let’s go this way.” The other transformer then when he sees Kickback hesitating “you do trust me right?” he asks in an injured tone. “Of course I do” Kickback replies and follows his friend.

*END FLASHBACK*

Why did I do it? He thinks to himself. Why did I trust him? Thoughts trudged around his head. Twin antennae twitch at their owners anguish and pain. Things like this will never leave. The wind whistles past; he feels its tender caress. The moon reaches its zenith in the sky; starlight glitters down upon this world that he has begun to think of as his own as if they were diamonds. Still the insecticon did not pause to notice the indescribable beauty before him, too wrapped up in his own thoughts he was; to notice the calm and the quiet.

Kickback’s mind raced in memories of pain and hurt; how he had thought he could trust his friend. Only to have his trust thrown back in his face. Again the memories assaulted his mind.

*START FLASHBACK*

Kickback is thrust forcefully back against the wall his optics wide and disbelieving his vocaliser manages to ask one small question. “Why?” all of his sense of betrayal and hurt pour themselves into that one word. Why? “Because I’m trying to save you” the other transformer tells him in a quiet tone “Megatron is evil I want you to see that; why can’t you understand, I don’t want to hurt you!” the other continues. Kickback shakes his head in disbelief. “I don’t understand you; what happened?” Kickback just can’t seem to grasp it. “I’m an Autobot Kickback, I was sent here to try to find some new recruits; I have to leave now and I intend to take you back with me.” The other grabs hold of him and starts to drag him away. Kickback optics widen in fear; he‘d heard what the Autobots could do; he starts to struggle in fear. “Stop it” the other commands him. So Kickback fell to whimpering in fear, he had been betrayed the person who had been his friend had turned his back on him and was about to turn him over to the enemy. Suddenly a shot fires in the distance; Kickback’s thoughts elate; fear is dispelled, he was being saved! Saberwind is too fast to get his by it; he lets go of Kickback and runs, runs out of his life; for ever.

*END FLASHBACK*

Those emotions coursed through his body once more in his memories he relived those moments over and over. He was alone. A sudden resolve causes these feelings to dispel into the mists of time. If the universe had intended to teach him this lesson then he was going to re-learn it; just as he had done before. He was never going to look to another for help again; because now he knew it was better never to get close than to be hurt by one whom you thought you could trust because it was that pain that hurt more than any other. With this firmly in mind Kickback swung down from the tree landing with all the grace he had gained over the years. “Let the full moon be my witness” Kickback murmured “I do not take betrayal lightly; those who have hurt me and will do so shall get what they deserve; someday” with that he turned his back on the scene that he had watched so intently a few moments before; just as he had turned his back on his life before he was an insecticon.